It's a nice day for a WHITE WEDDING!

Tomorrow's the big day! The culmination of big events in my July 2010 datebook. Tomorrow is our wedding reception.

Since only nine family members were able to make it over to Maui for the actual wedding, we decided to have a local celebration so we could share the experience with our other friends and family. Our beach ceremony was intimate and elegant, so we opted for a more "fun" theme for this party. The choice was obvious: 80's.

We're talking slap bracelets, cassette tapes, bubblegum cigarettes, and a PacMan AND Mario cake. My husband built a photo backdrop complete with metallic curtains a neon teal background. I created a complete Candy Bar with all of the best vintage candies, and I splatter painted the table cloth that will cover the present table. It's going to be totally rad.

Benefits of living on a retaining pond.

Most summer nights you can hear the pessimistic mumbles under my breath about the "joys" of having a pond in our backyard. You see, frogs, crickets and gardener snakes aren't exactly my thing. Last night was a rare exception, however. A family of ducks made their way from our backyard to the deflated waterslide in our front yard. Even I can admit they're cute.

July is National Ice Cream Month.

Playtime.

In addition to unpacking and baking, I have been spending a lot of time playing with my newest toy, my Cricut Expression machine. I have NO idea how I have been crafting all of these years without it! I started off with a few cartridges: Give a Hoot, From the Kitchen, New Addition, Dreams Come True, and Mini Monsters. Here are a few things I've whipped up while trying it out:

Blogging, I've missed you.

I'm not sure when I became so worldly, but this summer has been one trip after another. I just returned from a short-week in Las Vegas, where I attended a large convention with a close friend.



At the conference, I met Academy Award winning actress Marlee Matlin, and professional fighter Matt "The Hammer" Hammil.



Since returning, I've been busy (as usual) getting ready for my daughter's 5th birthday party. She chose a Littlest Pet Shop theme, so I whipped up some kitten and puppy cupcake cakes from the Hello, Cupcake recipe book.


If you haven't checked the book out, I suggest you do. A few months ago, after I receieved it, I tried out the spaghetti and meatballs, and popcorn recipes.



The great thing about the recipes is that they're all super easy, and don't require any special tools. I hope to pick up the sequel soon.

I got some awful news yesterday.

While enjoying the new Kevin James' movie, Grown Ups, last night with my closest friends, I received some terrible news. Jim Varney, the actor best known for his role as Ernest P. Worrell in various movies (such as Ernest Scared Stupid and Ernest Goes to Jail), TV shows, and commercials, passed away in 2000 at the age of 50. Anyone growing up in my era can appreciate the ridiculous impact he had on entertainment in the 1980s.

Hand-Made Customized Face Wall Clock

We've all been there. You need to pick out a birthday gift for the Dad/Mom/Sibling/Friend who has everything. What do you do? Where do you turn?

Fret no more! Portzcustomclockz offers "A GIFT THEY WILL TREASURE AND AN INSTANT CONVERSATION PIECE!!" on their Etsy site. For only $24.99 you can turn ANY face into a custom wall clock. Any photo, any face.

Forget nine-thirty; it can be "half-past Grandpa's whiskers" for less than twenty-five bucks.

Long time no blog...

Let's face it, I've been on blog-hiatus for longer than this before. But, I vowed to keep up to date with my writing hobby, so it's time for a new post.

For those who didn't know, I was on vacation for nine days on the island of Maui. It was an amazing trip, and it culminated in a perfect marriage. As of Tuesday afternoon, we're back to reality. Back to the scramble of folding laundry, washing dishes, visiting family, and running errands. No work in the summer-- yeah right!

A few nights ago I was introduced to a website that I couldn't wait to share. Have you ever had a smoothie with ice chunks in it? This is the solution to that problem, and then some. My newest homeboy, Tom Dickson, has a blender that can mix everything from avacados to iPads to the Vuvuzela World Cup 2010 (but not Chuck Norris). Don't believe me? Check this out:



The BlendTec YouTube channel, and the official website, has many more videos of blendable action. Click on the names above for links. These blenders will set you back about $400-1,000, but like those pesky Kirby vacuums, you can't put a price on quality.

Aloha from Maui.

Undateable.

A few weeks ago, I caught part of a new VH1 show called Undateable. According to VH1.com, "Undateable is a new five-hour VH1 special airing over five nights which looks at all things men do wrong in the eyes of the opposite sex. The series is based on the book "Undateable: 311 Things Guys Do That Guarantee They Won't be Dating or Having Sex" written by Ellen Rakieten and Anne Coyle." (watch HERE)

After viewing some of the show, I felt inspired to compose my own list of "undateable" male qualities. Anyone who knows me can tell you that I am insanely picky, and can be quite judgemental at times. Luckily for me, I am getting married to a nearly-flawless gentleman who passes the test (hey, if he can overlook MY past, I can overlook HIS, right?? **cough* puka shells! *cough**).

Without further ado, here is MY Undateable List, in no particular order:

1. Ugly or Unkempt Feet.
The first chance I get to look at your feet, gentlemen, I will. There is no, I repeat NO, excuse for dirty or unhealthy feet or toenails. It's not enough to just wear sneakers; I can't rest knowing that those feet are in there. So grab a PedEgg and call me when you've got it right.

2. Socks in Bed.
Maybe I have a foot fettish of sorts, but I can't stand this foot fail, either. Socks belong on your feet when your feet are in boots, but you ain't crawling under my sheets with your feet covered in wool. I don't care if it's winter, it just isn't happening.

3. Tank Tops or Jersheys as outwear.
Muscles or no muscles, I cannot find this look acceptable unless we're on the beach. Period.

4. Short or Bald Hair-dos.
I'll let it slide for Jason Statham, but other than that, I want to see some finely styled locks. My hair looks great and so should yours.

5. Shocker Stickers on your car.
Here's a real shocker-- I consider you Undateable.

6. Puka Shell Necklaces.
EVEN on a beach, I veto this look. That goes for flip-flops with bottle openers, too. Throw in frosted tips, and I have no choice but to banish you back to 1998.

7. Stupid Tattoos.
You better have your family tree ready to show me if you're sporting a Tribal tattoo, and don't even THINK about a date if you have a Superman symbol, anything around your belly button, or the name of an ex-girlfriend.

8. Pets.
I know a lot of people would happily date a guy with pets, but it's not for me. I don't like animals, and I sure wouldn't be happy if yours was slobbering all over me or acting jealous when I came over. I should never have to fight for your attention... especially from something covered in fur.

9. Knives, and Weapon Permits.
Nothing screams "psycho boyfriend" louder than a man with a flip knife in his back pocket during a routine trip to the zoo. Leave your weapons at home, or better yet, just don't have any. Being in your arms (and knowing my cell can call 911 if need be) should make me feel safe enough.

10. The Bachelor Pad.
Empty liquor bottles used as kitchen decor, computer homepage set to YouTube stunt videos, and an assortment of bedazzled t-shirts adorned across your bedroom floor doesn't scream "date me". It screams "I wonder if I'll make rent this month". Get a job and a maid, then call me.

There's a million other dating no-no's, and I couldn't possibly name them all. For a more extensive list, however, I encourage you to check out the VH1 version, or maybe try the book. I haven't read it, but it might be good plane material. I'll let you know if I pick it up.

Saturday.

It's hard for me to sit still. I've always been a go-go-go sort of personality, and having kids and a career only seem to ignite my constant need to be doing something. For as long as I can remember, if I wasn't spending every waking moment running an errand or wiping down a counter, I felt completely lazy and unaccomplished. Lately, however, I've been enjoying my weekends a lot more. It feels great to lay in bed watching movies for hours on end, though I still feel pretty guilty afterward.

Today I had the luxury of having a day alone, so I took advantage of the time by getting all of my pre-vacation primping out of the way. I got my nails done, and even treated myself to a pedicure. But it just wouldn't be my life without some kind of kink in the wire, so I mixed things up by fainting in the middle of a hair salon. Oh yes, we're talking standing one minute, and on the floor covered in drinking water the next. What's that, you called 911? Oh FABULOUS, because being sprawled out on this tile isn't humiliating enough, Miss Salon Lady. Fortunately the mortification was the only thing serious about this experience-- I'm just fine. A combination of not eating breakfast (well, eating Twizzlers FOR breakfast) and jumping up too quickly just happens to be the recipe for buckling at the knees.

After that little mishap, I headed to the mall and grabbed a tank top and some panties, and new summer clothes for the kids, then headed home for a much needed nap. My allergies and migraine seemed to be going full force today. When I got up, I packed up the kid's suitcases and airplane packs and did some laundry, so I haven't been a total bum today.

Other than that, I don't have much to share. Tomorrow I have to conclude the packing and get the house in order for our house-sitter. I definitely want the place to be clean and tidy when we get back from our nine-day trip so I don't have to worry about anything but resuming my lazy streak for a few days. Keep an eye out for posts from the islands... I'll try to share some pictures too. Until then, Aloha!

BigHugeLabs.com

Say goodbye to bordem (Kelsi, that means YOU!) at http://bighugelabs.com where you can make thousands of photo creations and share them with all your friends for FREE! Check out some examples I just whipped up:

Photo-Stamp Frame, Dawn & Adam's wedding
Frame Tool, My first car
Hockneyizer, myself and Erin
Pop Art Poster
You can turn your own photos into Jigsaw Puzzles, Motivational Posters and Magazine covers. Use the Frame and FX tools to give your pics a new personality.

Here's a Mosaic I did for my daughter's 4th birthday, and a photo of myself with hunky comedian Jeff Dye that I spruced up with the Captioner tool:



According to the site's homepage, "So far over 57,800 things have been created this month." And it's only July 1st! Have fun transforming your photos into works of art, and be sure to post them to your favorite networking site for everyone else to enjoy.