Thursday, February 19, 2009

To the parmedics of the Central Pierce precinct who responded to a ‘Young Female with Chest Pains’ last weekend:

Thank you kindly for your timely and efficient service. I couldn’t have done it without you. (Well, actually, I did drive myself to the doctor in the first place… I probably could have come up with SOME WAY to get myself the additional 1.6 miles to the hospital. But that’s a moot point really).

I must say, you’re presence was very unexpected. That probably explains the expression of shock that was noticeably plastered on my face. Nothing like unshaven legs and cheeks full of teary mascara to serve you up a juicy slice of humble pie. Then again, I feel whole-heartedly that there should be some sort of policy about hiring attractive, fit gentlemen as paramedics. If I remember correctly, I think I mentioned something about giving the overweight and unattractive guys a chance. I can’t help but think it would double your customer service ratings… from the young, female patient population, anyway.

To the chesty gentleman who rode in the cab with me:
I’d just like to throw it on the table (or gurney, as it may be) that I sincerely appreciated your humor and compliments. I know you didn’t actually mean it when you said you couldn’t imagine me looking any better than I did in that moment… but I’ll take that lie at face value. Definitely helped me forgot about my failing vital organs.

To the balding, blonde Dougie Howser:
No sir, thank you for what YOU do. I couldn’t educate without a heart rate.

All I’m sayin’ is I’m sure glad I didn’t mention the firefighters that I know. That could have made for a very awkward conversation. Anyway, turns out that you were wrong about it not being serious, but I can overlook that. Just be glad I chose to thank you this way, and not personally, because if we meet again I will ask you out. Then again, maybe that wouldn’t be so bad.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Take it from me…

I don’t know about a lot of things. However, I hope you will overlook my lack of training and take my word on this, if nothing else: the frozen yogurt of your dreams awaits you at Tutti Frutti.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. How could you have faith that a business by the name of Tutti Frutti could satisfy your precious taste buds? And I understand your skepticism. But you’re going to have to trust.

Tutti Frutti yogurt is a self-serve set-up with several yogurt flavors and toppings to choose from. I highly recommend the Sweet Vanilla yogurt with fresh strawberries, kiwis, raspberries, and red, green and white gummi bears. By the way, they’re the good, German gummi bears, not the questionable off-brand type. I think I’m salivating as we speak. Be it known that in some cases Tutti Frutti goes by ‘Orange Tree’ (clearly a wise business move; I trust them more already) and some locations (well, I know of one anyway) actually has a real seating area for guests.

I think it’s safe to say that my volunteer promotion work for this above-named corporation is entirely unappreciated. But I believe in their product… and I’m not a quitter.

My "First" blog entry.

Febuary 18, 2009

The Blog I’ve Always Dreamt Of…
For quite some time, I’ve toyed with the idea of putting some of my intimate and “out”timate thoughts onto an inter-web journaling device of some kind… gifting little “tastes” here and there via social-networking sites like Twitter, MySpace and Facebook. Dissatisfied, I have decided to finally give in to my desires and create my very on blog… my gift to you, as potential subscribers, so that you may attempt to experience life in the shoes me, the complex being known as Jessica “Teacher” Stalker (for the time being, anyway). I do hope that you enjoy.

As for now, I am sitting in my bathrobe just after noon on this Wednesday, feeling fabulous about my decision to flee work, but equally not-fabulous about my pancreas and it’s referred pains and annoyances. I am enjoying a not-so-fat-free lunch, much to my ultrasound technician’s dismay, though I’m hoping that because Almonds are a “healthy” snack, maybe they won’t count as being a “fat” food. We soon shall see. For those of you who don’t know, I spent Valentine’s afternoon/eve surrounded by many attractive gentleman; sadly they were more interested in poking me with IV needles and testing devices than anything enjoyable. Who knew that twenty-somethings could experience debilitating chest pains as a result of pancreas and/or gallbladder failure? How naive of me to think that my irresponsible diet and lazy approach to living wouldn’t catch up to me sooner or later. Just goes to show we can’t win ‘em all, right? Anywho, this is just a minor setback in the grand scheme of things and I hope to be back to “me” soon after tomorrow’s ultrasound (followed by a tedious and dreadful 4+ hour district meeting. Lucky, lucky me).

Don’t think, for a moment, that the last few days were a total downer, as that is not the case. The photo below inevitably brought a smile to my face that would cancel out a thousand bouts of pancreatitis. I hope you experience the same results upon viewing.
(Hopefully I’ll figure this html business out soon… until then please click the link)

Please know that this is the first of many treats to come… well, that’s the intention anyway. My point is, I’m excited about this blog… for now. I’m also realistic enough to know that, 1) most novelties lose their spark after awhile, and 2) no one will probably read this, except me, as I reread all of my entries/surveys/etc. But that’s okay; I’m willing to overlook those points for the time being. Here’s to the start of a very beautiful thing.

Well, until we meet again… make good choices! :)

Sincerely yours,

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Let us rise up and be thankful for we learned a lot today. And if we didn’t learn a lot, at least we learned a little. And if we didn’t learn a little, at least we didn’t get sick. And if we did get sick, at least we didn’t die. So let us be thankful. -Budda